2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
