when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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