Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
