Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
