Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
