just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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