There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
