i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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