Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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