We're facebook friends in real life
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
