Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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