Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Terrible idea I love it
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
