Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
