Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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