A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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