how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
