last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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