Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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