So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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