it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
