Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
