my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
is it fun? or sober?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
