My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
