I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
love makes seman taste better
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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