im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
