You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
