I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
