I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
