I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
