I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
