This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
