I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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