maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
