we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
