i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
