Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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