so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
