he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
