my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Holy sore nipples Batman
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
