onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
