And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there was a trapeze. enough said
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
