Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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