VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
