I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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