His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You ate ashes out of my bong
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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