I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
do herpes really smell.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
