Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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