i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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