You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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