I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Randomize
