Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
