what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
