That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
