She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Randomize
