Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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