it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
